I haven't lost my Sanity I'm Always like this
by ConDRAGdictiON
Summary: This is what happens when you put Lee and Gaara in my house...and life. Series of oneshots and twoshots. Oneshot: Gaara and Lee deal with me on my period...Gaara learns a few things with thise experience...
1. Welcome to my Life pt 1

I haven't lost my Sanity; I've always been like this

I don't own Naruto, any of the characters, or Guitar Hero II

Warning: possible out of characterness and randomness. They'd act like this if they were forced to live with me…

Part 1

Dragon slept peacefully in her bed. She was dreaming of her mechanically engineered children (dragons) destroying and smighting everyone she hated and deserved it. Fire burned their bodies and the little bundles of joy were soaking the ground with their blood and…uh, the rest is a little graphic. But all this is beside the point. Suddenly, Dragon felt a tight feeling wrap around her. She tried to push it away, but whatever it was just got tighter. Her eyes slowly opened. They blinked in surprise when she realized what it was.

Lee was snoring softly, completely hugging onto Dragon, even his leg was thrown over hers. His head lay on her shoulder. Dragon twitched her eye profusely. Lee began to mumble in his sleep as he snuggled closer to his human pillow. "No Gai-sensai…no more training…too sleepy…so comfy…zzz…" Dragon popped her knuckles from under the bed covers. Two seconds later, Lee was toppled on the floor, with a bloody nose from Dragon's punch. "GAH! DRAGON-CHAN! WHY?!" he cried and held up his nose to slow down the blood.

"What the hell did I tell you about PERSONAL SPACE!!!? I said you could sleep in my bed ONLY if you stayed on _your_ side!!!" she hollered over the bed side.

"I couldn't help it Dragon-chan! I'm so used to hugging onto my pillow when I sleep…" he defended pitifully.

"Really, and do you also throw your leg over your pillow as well?"

"…Maybe…"

Gaara walked in, "What's all the screaming abou- WHAT THE HELL?!" he shouted, taking in the picture of Lee and Dragon in the same room together.

"Oh shit…"

"YOU TOLD ME HE WAS GAY!" Gaara pointed to Lee, while looking at Dragon.

"You WHAT?" Lee looked up at Dragon.

"Okay, you, calm down, and you, don't take it personally, I know it's not true," she pointed to Gaara then to Lee.

"CALM DOWN?!"

"DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY?!"

"…who wants lunch?"

"I DO!" the two boys completely forgot about their rage. They pushed and shoved as they raced to the kitchen.

"Shya, that was a close one," Dragon shook her head. She got out of bed and walked down her stairs and into the kitchen. Suddenly the sand ninja and tai-jutsu master were up in her face.

"WHO'S HOTTER?!" they yelled in unison.

"ME?" Gaara pointed to himself. Lee shoved him away.

"Or _ME_?" he gave a shiny tooth smile. Dragon blinked with confused eyes. O.o

"What the hell happened in the two seconds I left you alone?!"

"It's too long of a story," Lee responded.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" they shouted together.

"Uhhh…"

"AHA! She hesitates, which means she doesn't want to say it out loud that _I_ am the more attractive one!" Lee said proudly.

"Not even in your dreams, you walking piece of spinach! It's the other way around! She doesn't want to say that _I'm_ the hotter one!"

"LIES!" Lee hissed.

"Who the hell gave you guys crack?…"

"AHA! She only says that because one of us is obviously wrong! And that one _must_ be you!"

"Will you quit saying 'aha'?! You sound like you figured it out when you know you haven't! YOU'RE NOT CLEVER!"

"Guys…"

"I am too clever!"

"Guys…"

"Dragon doesn't think so."

"Guys…"

"She does too!"

"GUYS!" she finally screamed. The two, frightened, slowly looked at her. "I'M ENDING THIS ONCE IN FOR ALL!" she cleared her throat. "Lee-"

"A-"

"SAY IT ONE MORE TIME AND _I_ KILL YOU!" Lee shut his mouth and Gaara just let out a mocking laugh. "Lee," Dragon continued, "is fadorable… While _Gaara_ is fexy."

"That doesn't really help u-"

"TOO BAD!" fire spat from her mouth. Gaara gulped at Dragon's rage. "…Where's Kitty?" The boys pulled an anime fall. Dragon had the shortest attention span. "Kit-ay! KIT-AY!" she began to roam her house, searching for her semi-fat, gray and white cat.

'_An idea! If I found Dragon-chan's kitty, then she'd surely choose me over stupid Gaara!' _Lee laughed at his wickedly awesome and fail-proof plan. _'Oh, I can see it now…' _Lee pictured:

"Dragon-chan! I found Kitty!" he held up the furry animal.

"Oh, Lee, thank you!" she hugged the cat tightly.

"Mow?"

"By showing me your love and kindness for animals, and especially my kitty, I choose you!" she hopped on him.

"CURSE YOU LEE! You're clever plan worked! I am forever shamed and forced to leave you two with your happiness!" Gaara said as he left Dragon's house into the pouring rain. Why Lee made it rain, he didn't know…that was oddly cruel. But yet…Lee still laughed at his imaginative little scene. _'Enough of that, I must-'_

"Here's your cat, Dragon," Gaara held up the animal. Lee fell over with anime tears running down his cheeks. TT

"SHYA GAARA!" she grabbed her cat and rubbed her cheek against its. "Aw, I loooove Kitty, and Kitty loves me!" He responded with hugging onto her shoulder and purring. "My baby!" she giggled.

'_You're a crafty one, Gaara. I shall not overlook that from now on…' _Lee sat up. _'That just means I have to work harder! And I'm always good at working harder! Gaara, you will not win!'_ he smiled bravely.

"Shya guys! Come watch me play Guitar Hero II!" Dragon called from her living room.

"Coming Dragon-cha-OOMF," Lee fell face first on the floor.

"Whoops, sorry, Lee," Gaara moved his foot back. He stepped over Lee and continued into the living room.

'_That is it Gaara. I didn't start this war, but it is on!' _Lee growled in his mind. He walked into the living room.

"SHYA! I AM THE MASTER OF EASY MODE!!!" Dragon yelled in a deep rocker voice. "You try Gaara!" she handed the red plastic guitar controller to the sand ninja.

"Um…okay," he took it.

'_Yes, this will do it! I will impress Dragon-chan with this 'Gee-tar Hee-ru II' and I will win her heart!' _Lee trailed off into another of his fantasies.

"SHYA LEE! I had no idea you were so good!" Dragon praised. He just smiled his shiny tooth smile.

"Of course I am!"

"NO! This isn't fair! I cannot compete with you, Lee! You deserve Dragon, not me!" Gaara cried out, before biting the knuckle of his pointer finger and turning away.

"SHYA LEE!" she hugged him from behind.

'_Yes! It will be per-'_

"Oh my God, Gaara! Go! Go! Go!" Dragon cheered on the red-head. He was doing amazingly well for a first-timer. A dark rain-cloud formed above Lee's head. Rain poured as lightning struck around him. "Your turn, Lee!" she held the controller in front of his face. Lee took it with hesitation. "Don't be scared! It's really fun!"

**End Part 1…**


	2. Welcome to my Life pt 2

**Part 2**

"Yeah, as long as you don't mess up."

"Gaara!"

Lee glared at the red-head, and then returned his gaze to the TV screen. _'I see what you are trying to do, Gaara. Trying to distract me and lose my focus. Well nice try, I'm better than-"_

"Lee, you're songs started FYI," Dragon pointed.

"GAH!" Lee jumped and fumbled with his fingers to hit the right colored buttons on the neck.

"You have to strum at the same time, Lee," Dragon pressed down the tab on the base of the guitar.

"O-oh," Lee was turning red with embarrassment. He over heard Gaara's snickering. "GO TO HELL GAARA!"

"Okay, okay, that's enough Guitar Hero!!!" Dragon turned off the game. "My god, Gaara, how old are you?"

"Twelve."

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that."

"How old are _you_?" he asked.

"…15."

"Is that considered rape?"

"WHAT?!" Lee almost fell over.

"HE'S KIDDING!" Dragon yelled in desperation. "IT WAS A JOKE, GET IT?" she grabbed Gaara by the collar. "Watch what you say, _hon_," she growled.

'_Oh God no! She's already begun the pet names!!!' _Lee cried in his mind.

"Quit bein' mean to Lee, would ya, Gaara?"

'_How will I ever compete with him? He's practically won!'_

"But it's so fun."

"Well, cut it out. We all have to get along."

"Since when?"

'_No! It's not over until it's over! I refuse defeat!!!'_

"TIME TA DRAW!" Dragon shouted in a GIR voice.

'_Oh God, I hate it when she talks in that stupid robot's voice…' _Gaara thought with a sigh. She sprawled out all her drawing paper, pencils and colored pencils.

'_This will surely be a difficult task. Dragon will not be easily impressed with drawings. She, herself, is a master of the skill! And I, myself, have never done it much. I wonder why… Little kids are supposed to draw endlessly, aren't they? I wonder why I never did…' _The answer soon became clear why. Lee was a terrible artist.

Dragon held up her vivid drawing of a mother and father dragon watching over their hatchling as it slept. "Shya! Isn't it good!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, Dragon-chan! It is excellent!" Lee praised.

"Suck up…" Gaara said under his breath so only Lee could hear.

"Shya, thank you Lee! How's it goin' with your guys' drawings?"

"It's not that good," Gaara held up his. It was a large, sharp scythe with the reflection of a blood-drop in the sickle.

"It's very dark, Gaara. But nonetheless, really good!" Dragon smiled.

"I had a little practice when I was younger, I guess…"

'_Oh, c'mon! Even **Gaara** drew when he was little?! The most demented child_ _ever…and he drew. Pictures of evil and satanic images, but drawings.'_

"Let's see yours, Lee."

"Uhh…" he held up his picture in shame.

"Oh, it's a very good rock…Lee?" Dragon said realizing the pun.

"It's a snowman!" he cried. The poorly drawn snowman looked like three rocks on top of each other, with a long crooked carrot nose. It wore a goofy grin of black coal across its face.

"Poor thing looks like it wants to die," Gaara scoffed. Lee glared at him with a twitching eye and grinding teeth.

"Aw, Lee, it's cute!" Dragon tilted her head, smiling happily.

"Y-you really think so?" Lee's anger had immediately melted away.

"Cute is just a nice way to say it's crappy."

"Gaara!"

'_GAH! HE'S RIGHT!' _Lee crumpled up his drawing and tossed it to the side.

"Okay, that's it, I'm leaving for a little bit. You better start being nicer to Lee or so help me, I'll…I'll…" she trailed off for a moment. "I'll make you watch **_educational television._**"

"NOT THAT!" Gaara yelled in horror.

"Then _be good!_" Dragon poked his nose and left.

"THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!" he flailed his arms in a chibi-like state, crying. (C'mon, you can picture it, don't deny it. It's adorable.)

"What's wrong with you?" Gaara raised an eyebrow.

With eyes aflame, Lee pointed to him dramatically. "_YOU_ are my problem!!! Why don't you play fair for once in your life and face a _true_ competition?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Every challenge thrown at me in my life, I've somehow overcome! But this…this is soooo different! _You_ keep cheating!"

"At what?"

"Every test Dragon-chan has given us!"

"What test?" Gaara was looking at Lee as if he was talking in Pig Latin. Easy to understand, but completely stupid and useless.

"The tests to see who would be worthy of her love!" He stood in a heroic stance.

"Yeah…she has…never done that."

"Yes she has! First was the finding of her cat! You cheated and got a head start!"

"Uh…"

"Then there was the Geetar Heeru II-"

"Guitar Hero II," Gaara corrected blandly.

"DON'TCORRECTME! You tripped me as to make me look like a fool! Then you distracted me and made me fail the 'video game' test," he used quotation fingers.

"She didn't even know you fell-"

"Then, lastly, the drawing test! The hardest test of all!" he interrupted.

"How could I have cheated on _drawing_?"

"I don't know, but you _did_!" Lee spat.

"Did you ever think that maybe, just _maybe_, I'm better than you?"

"What? Never!" The two boys didn't notice the sound of a shower turn on upstairs.

"Well start thinkin' it now, because it's obviously true!"

"Why you…" he grabbed Gaara by the collar and lifted him up. "I've wanted to do this for a long time!"

"Big deal, my sand'll just…aw shit." Gaara had forgotten that Dragon had used his sand to make a castle out in the backyard.

"That's right, you're completely defensle-"

"Can someone get me a towel?" Dragon called from the bathroom.

"COMING DRAGON-CHAN!" Lee was gone in a matter of seconds. Gaara hit the ground with a thump.

"God, is that me in a year? I am _not_ looking forward to hormones…"

_Dragon…_

"I have your towel Dragon-chan!" Lee said with taunting voice outside of the bathroom.

"Great, give it to me," a hand wiggled out of the doorway crack.

"Don't you want to come out and get it?" he waved it back and forth, it still folded in his hands. He smiled wickedly.

"Give it to me NOW or you're sleeping on the deck. After all, that's where the DOGS sleep."

"Eep," Lee squeaked and handed the towel to her quickly.

"Thank you, now go." Pouting, Lee left the hallway leading to the bathroom and returned downstairs. Dragon sighed. She didn't need the towel at all; she had overheard the possible fight about to happen between the two boys. She knew her request for a towel would distract Lee…for now.

Lee held his chin in-between his thumb and pointer, pondering. "LEE! LEE! ANYONE IN THERE?! Oh forget it; I can't even remember what I was going to say…" Gaara stopped jumping up and down in front of the tall boy.

"I've come to a decision!" Lee announced, blissfully unaware that the sand ninja was saying anything at all. Gaara looked at him like _'you really think I care that you've decided anything?'_ "Gaara," Lee, smiling, put a hand on his shoulder, "you are still a boy. So I don't believe you truly would try to hurt my chances with Dragon-chan on purpose!"

'_Oh joy, he believes me. Now I can go on in life…' _Gaara thought sarcastically.

"And since you _are_ still a boy, you are too young to be thinking of girlfriends, and therefore I will take Dragon-chan for myself."

"WHAT?!" Gaara's eyes went huge.

"You're only 12, Gaara! You're not really interested in girls! You aren't until you turn 13! _That's_ when all you care about are girls!" Lee patted his head. "So, please, enjoy young bliss while I go be a peeping Tom…" the tai-jutsu master, (now apparently the peeping-tom master) streaked off.

"NOW HOLD ON!!! I'M TWELVE, BUT MATURE FOR MY AGE! ARE YOU LISTENING, LEE?! LEE!!!" Gaara ran after him. But he did not find Lee. No, instead, he met face-to-face with Mr. Bloody Frying Pan.

"Perverts," Dragon, in a towel, swung the frying pan side-to-side, dripping Lee's and Gaara's blood on the floor.

"Did you even get to SEE ANYTHING MR. PEEPING TOM?!" Gaara punched Lee on top of his head.

"Almost…so close this time though…so close…" he reassured himself.

_That Night…_

"Dragon-chaaan?" Lee poked his head in her room.

"Yes, Lee," Dragon said blankly.

"Can I still sleep with you tonight? Gaara said he's going to kill me if he stays in the same room with me for another five minutes." He had on the huge puppy dog eyes and he had a teddy bear and blankie.

"What? No! Go back downstairs!" Lee's eyes got bigger and watery. "Shya, Lee! Cut it out!" He hugged onto his teddy bear and blanket. "No! Not fair, Lee! Not fair!" He kept his ground. "Shya…fine, get in here."

"DRAGON-CHAN!" he dropped the teddy bear and blankie and pounced towards her, with a huge grin. She blocked with the bloody frying pan.

"Down boy."

"DRAGON!!! LEE TIED ME UP TO A FREAKING CHAIR!" Gaara's head wriggled up to the doorway.

"LIES! I would never do that!" defended Lee as blood ran down his face.

"Oh, and I suppose I just tied myself up?!"

"You would, you conniving little rat!"

"Dear Diary, today was like every other day…" Dragon wrote in her little green book.

**The End**

A/N: Just in case you're all wondering, 'shya' does not mean anything. It's just a sound that I make. I guess it could mean 'wow' or 'Oh my God', or 'shit!', depending on voice complection, and what is said afterwards.

And I'm NOT saying that Gaara and Lee is mine, they are everyones! But, this is just a 'what-if' scenerio series, okay? Thank you...


	3. The Lake Pt 1

The Lake

Part 1

"Dragon…I can't find the sunscreen!!!" Gaara yelled in fear, ruthlessly tossing random items out of his bag. "Please don't tell me you forgot it!" he cried.

"Oh, sorry, Gaara! Guess I did!" she called from her room.

"Oh no, I guess that means poor little Gaara will have to hide from the sun in the house while Dragon-chan and I have sunny-bikini-filled fun…" Lee smiled slyly.

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Gaara growled. "Not even in your dreams, cabbage-boy."

"I'm so scared, look at me shake in my swimmin' trunks!" he held his hands in front of him.

"You wanna face full of fist?"

"You wanna ass full of foot?"

"Shya, boys," Dragon stepped from her room, "can we get along, _please_?" The two gawked at the sight before them. "Cut it out, you act like you've never seen a girl in a bathing suit before."

"Not a bikini…" Lee said with huge eyes and a drooling mouth. Gaara was the same.

"C'mon, Gaara, get in your suit, we came to the lake, now we gotta swim!" she pushed him into the bathroom with his suitcase.

"B-b-but what if I get burned?!" he said from inside the bathroom.

"You'll be fine! The sun will do you some good!" Dragon said, putting on jean shorts.

"No…come back to me…" Lee said with teary eyes, watching her.

_Later…_

"Gaara! C'mon, what's the hold up?"

"…"

"Get out here, would ya? The lake awaits us!"

"He's probably embarrassed because he has no _body_ to show off," Lee snickered.

"THAT'S NOT IT!" Gaara swung the door open. He was wearing a giant white shirt that went down past his knees, a sun-hat, and sunglasses. Lee fell over laughing hysterically.

"LEE, CUT IT OUT!" Dragon snapped. But it was no use. Lee couldn't control his laughter. Gaara looked down. Dragon approached the hyena, "Just for that, Lee, I'm not gonna let you ride the jetskii with me." His laughter finally ceased.

"B-b-but Dragon-chan!!!" Lee whined with desperation.

"Nope, now you gotta wait 'till tomorrow. C'mon, let's go," she led them out of the house. Gaara and Lee followed silently. "You two act as if you're walking to the electric chair, livin' up! We're at the lake!" They reached the shore. "Isn't it preeeeeeeeety?" The water was as clear as crystal and shined as such. It was calm and quiet. "LAST ONE IN'S A ROTTEN EGG!!!" Dragon practically jumped out of her shorts and sandals and ran on the deck. She dove into the cool water. Her head popped out from under the surface. "C'mon guys! The water's great!"

"Be right there, Dragon-chan!" Lee trotted to the deck and jumped in.

Gaara found a shady tree to sit under, and began reading his book, entitled _How to Kill an Annoying Leaf Ninja with Big Eyebrows without Getting Caught AND Destroying the Body in 10 Easy Steps_, author anonymous. Suddenly, he felt a wet, but unwanted presence in front of him. Gaara looked up behind his sunglasses. "What do you want?" he said with aggravation.

Lee stood before him, completely soaked, his hair matted down from the water. He crossed his arms, "Nothing, just wanted to see how you were doing."

"You're funny Lee, leave me alone."

"C'mon, Gaara, what's a little _sun_ gonna do?"

"Boil my skin off."

"Lee! Quit buggin' Gaara! He'll come in the water if he wants to!" Dragon called from the lake's water.

"Bye, Gaara!" Lee waved cutely, mocking him.

He returned to his book, thinking _'I wonder if this book could help me…'_

Not too much later, Dragon came up to Gaara, squeezing the water from her hair. "Gaara! Let's go ride the jetskii!"

"What?"

"WHAT! NO!" Lee splashed around.

"I wasn't kidding when I said you weren't going until tomorrow!" she shouted back at the lake. "So, c'mon."

"I don't know-"

"Nope, you're doin' this. This won't even count as touching the water, so if that's your goal…" Dragon tried to pull him from under the safety of his shade.

"That's not it! I don't want to get burned!"

"Gaara, I promise, we'll be gone _ten_ minutes. That's not long enough to get burned!" she held out her hand.

Gaara took off his sunglasses and hat. He glanced at the lake. Only from the eyes up could you see Lee, and the boiling water around him from fiery rage and jealousy. Gaara smiled evilly. "Fine, Dragon, I'll do it. But only because you sound _sooo_ convincing," he answered loudly on purpose, making sure Lee could hear. Growling, Lee disappeared under the water.

"SHYA!" Dragon jumped in glee. "TO THE DOCK!" she said with determination and ran off.

"Isn't the dock-"

"I KNEW THAT!" Dragon said with the same determination running in the opposite direction.

_On the dock…_

"Okay, so now we put on the lifejacket, so we don't fall off and die!" Dragon said with too much enthusiasm in her voice.

"We could die?" Gaara tried not to sound worry as he buckled the straps.

"Oh, only if the much bigger boats didn't see us when we fell off," she answered, waving her hand. "Come to think of it, they could run us over even if we were on the jetskii if I wasn't a paying attention…Good thing I'm not a careless driver!"

'_She couldn't even remember to bring sunscreen, I'm supposed to entrust my **safety** with her?'_

"Okay, now that we're untied an on the jetskii-"

"Dragon, none of us are on the-"

"AW SHIT!" she hopped on the small 'boat'.

'_I'm screwed.'_

**End Part 1**


	4. The Lake Pt 2

** Part 2**

_Lee at the Lake…_

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" Lee sat with a towel wrapped around him. He had ten minutes to himself. What could he do? _'…Besides that…'_ Lee answered his automatic thought when it came to being alone. Suddenly, an awful smell wafted into his nose. "What the-?!" he gagged and followed the scent. It was a big shaggy dog. A big, shaggy, _wet_ dog. "That's what that is…" The dog was black, white, and fat. It looked like some kind of cattle dog. "Shoo! Get out of here!" he waved his hand. Instead, it trotted happily to the boy. Lee stood up. "Fine, if you won't leave me, I'll just-" the dog grabbed the back of Lee's trunks as he turned around. "Dog! Get off me!" He just growled playfully in return. "Off! Cut it out!" Lee tried to push the smelly canine off him. The dog pulled down, and soon a Rock Lee version of the popular sunscreen lotion image was created. Lee fell backwards and landed with a _thwump_. The dog barked in joy to see his new friend 'decide' to stay.

_On the Lake with Dragon and Gaara…_

"TOO FAST, DRAGON, TOO FAAAST!!!" Gaara screamed over the roaring engine and waves.

"WEEEEE!!!!" she yelled in return. They were going at least 40 mph. (Which for lake speed is decently fast in my past experiences.) The sand ninja clung tighter to the psycho driver. She pulled a doughnut, and they stopped. "Whoo! Wasn't that fun?"

Gaara's body shook violently, still clinging, "NO!"

"Look at the size of that wave!" Dragon completely ignored her passenger and revved up the engine.

"GOD NOOOO!!!" he screamed as they zoomed off. They hit the wave with perfect precision, causing them to fly through the air. Gaara didn't stop screaming until Dragon knew she was in a safe place, and stopped.

"How was that?"

"HORRIFYING!!! THESE THINGS ARE MORE DEADLY THAN MY SAND!"

"What do you say one more jump?"

"NO!"

"One more jump!" Dragon sped off.

_Lee and Dog…_

Lee, sitting beside his new 'companion', rested his cheek on his fist. He had tried several times to go back to the house, or even the dock, but ended with the same result. This animal would trap the back of his trunks in his teeth and pull back, once again creating that famous sunscreen image of the little girl and the dog. He was trapped. "I guess you want a name." The dog looked over at him, panting from the heat. "What would be fitting for a creature such as yourself?" he stared at the dog. "Trunks. That's your name, and if you don't like it, you can leave." The dog, now named Trunks, looked at him blankly, scratched his ear, and then lied down at Lee's feet. "Damn it, he likes it…"

_Gaara and Dragon…_

"Gaara, we're back at the dock, you can let go of me now."

"I can't…move…"

"Seriously, your nails are digging into my sides."

"I'm sure they are, Dragon, but I can't _do_ anything about that."

_Lee and Trunks…_

"Okay, how about this? I'll leave, _just for a second_, and I'll come back with some treats for you? Huh, how bout that, boy?" Trunks just cocked his head. "Yeah? I'm going with a yes, so don't try to eat my…trunks…" Lee stopped when the dog pulled down his trunks for the umpteenth time.

"Hey, Lee! I guess we don't need sunscr-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Lee yelled, flailing his arms. "HELP ME! This crazy dog won't leave me alone!"

"Lee! That's not a crazy dog! That's Blue!"

"Blue?" Lee blinked.

"Shya! C'mere, boy! C'mere Bluie!" Dragon clapped her hands. Blue barked, releasing the trunks in his mouth and galloped to Dragon. "Blue is the Lake's dog!"

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't belong to anyone around here, really. But he wanders around, and everyone who lives here feeds him and bathes him and plays with him. He's the lake doggie!"

"Well he needs a bath _now_," Lee said, before glancing around. "Where's Gaara? Oh no, he didn't fall off and DIE did he?" he said with wrath.

"No, he's lying on the dock to regain his sense of balance and security."

"Ah."

"Bye, Blue!" Dragon waved as the dog scampered off.

"Oh sure, just run off like all the others!" Lee shook a fist at Blue.

"Uhh… Gaara! Are you feeling better?"

Gaara sat back down under his tree, "As long as I **_never_** have to go on that metal death trap again, I'll be fine."

Dragon shrugged, "Fine by me. WEEE!!!" she jumped into the water.

Lee saluted, "See ya, Gaara!"

About fifteen minutes later, Lee began to bully Gaara about getting sunburned. And Gaara was ready to explode.

"C'mon Gaaaaara, what's a little suuuuuun gonna do? You a lil scaredy cat? Or maybe chicken? Fried chicken?" Lee laughed at his own joke.

"THAT'S IT!" Gaara threw his sunhat and glasses to the side. He ripped off his big, white T-shirt to reveal his true physique. Which was quite nice.

"Shya, Gaara…" Dragon was almost speechless. His muscles showed more than Lee's, which didn't make much sense in retrospect. _Lee_ was the one who trained and worked out to get strong. Gaara was strong only because of his sand. But, who was paying attention to the little details?

"You're dead," he cracked his knuckles.

Lee gulped, but stood his ground…water…whatever. "Yeah? Like to see you try!" Gaara ran off the deck and dove into the water. "This…cannot…end we-" he was pulled under. Gaara broke from under the surface, holding Lee's head down. Lee was able to break free and tried to dunk Gaara. Dragon had decided to remove herself from the area completely before it got too hectic. She and Blue sat side-by-side on the shore, watching. Blue barked, cheering on most likely Lee. Those two boys wrestled in the water for at least 30 minutes. Finally exhausted, they drug themselves from the lake and flopped onto the shore.

"Ready to go back to the house?" Gasping and wheezing for air, they nodded.

_That night…_

"GAH! IT'S COLD!" Lee quickly pulled away from Dragon's aloe-Vera covered hand.

"You deserved it," she rubbed it in her hand to make it warmer and smeared it over Gaara's back.

"Ahhh…"

"Does it hurt?"

"A little, but it feels so good to have that stuff on it…"

"Dragon-chan! I hurt to!"

"Gaara first, Lee! This is your entire fault, anyway!"

"How?" he whined.

"You antagonized Gaara to leave the shade, and he got a terrible sunburn!"

"That doesn't explain _my_ sunburn. I _never_ sunburn…" Lee mumbled.

"You angered the Sun god!"

"What?"

"Yeah, the Sun god!" Gaara nodded.

"Oh shut up!" Dragon pinched Lee's burned shoulder. "OWWW!!!"

"Be NICE. Now, turn around," she squirted the aloe into her hand.

"Will you not put it straight on, please?" he asked shyly, turning his back to her.

"Yes, don't worry," Dragon said before rubbing it on his back.

"Aaaah…."

"Poor babies, you're both burning up so bad. Try to sleep on your stomachs tonight, okay?"

"Dragon, where…_will_ we be sleeping?" Gaara finally asked. It was silent for a second, and Lee and Gaara couldn't help but glare at each other.

"There's one room with a fan. You two will sleep in that room. I'll sleep in the other."

"WHAT?!" they shouted, trying not to move too dramatically because of their pain.

"The fan will keep you and your sunburns cool, guys."

"WE DON'T WANT TO SLEEP IN THE SAME BED!" they shouted loudly.

"Well, I guess we can play rock-paper-scissors to-"

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" the two sun-burned boys began to play.

'_Oookay…'_ Dragon sweatdropped. -- ' "Let's try this, whoever _doesn't_ want the fan, can sleep in my bed with me."

"I DON'T WANT IT!" Lee and Gaara raised their hand, but quickly put it down once it automatically hurt.

"But before you make your decision, just feel how good this feels on your back," Dragon pulled out the fan and turned it on.

"Aaaah…" they could have cried, it felt so good to have the wind on their hot backs. TT

"Alright, so who doesn't want the fan?" Gaara and Lee looked at each other with hesitant faces. What now? "Shya, I'm tired…" Dragon yawned. "_I'm_ going to bed. When you make your decisions, you can go to bed whenever you want. And remember, don't think you two can't share a room with the fan…for whatever reason you might choose to do that…" she left them.

"Oh, choices, of choices! I must choose between the one I love, or the fan that gives me such remedy! The pain is so bad in my heart…and my back…" Lee said dramatically.

"Shut up, and c'mon," Gaara said dragging the fan to the other room.

"…Alright," he followed. Who was Lee kidding? His back hurt like hell.

**The end**


	5. Pokeballs outta the Bag Pt 1

Pokeball's out of the Bag

**I don't own Pokemon, just what I bought…Nor Naruto and I don't want ANY contact with the makers of Teletubbies, thats for damn sure...**

**Part 1**

"Gaara, let me see the remote control."

"No."

"I don't want to watch this, this is stupid!"

"No it's not, everyone likes it!"

"If you're five years old!" Lee shouted. Twinkie Winkie and Daisy, along with the other Teletubbies giggled with each other as they ran away from that vacuum cleaner thing… "They're so creepy…"

"Someday Twinkie Winkie and I will taker over this stupid planet," Gaara said under his breath.

"What did you say?!" the leaf ninja looked at him with a scared/confused expression.

"Nothing, is Dragon still asleep?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"This is a re-run anyway, let's go wake her up," the sand ninja turned off the TV.

"Oh, thank you for the permission, Princess Gaara," Lee bowed, his voice oozing with sarcasm. He ignored the insult and walked up the stairs to Dragon's room.

_In Dragon's Room…_

"Dragon-chan! C'mon, WAKE UP!" Lee yelled in her ear. Nothing.

"You're not doing it right," Gaara shoved him away.

"Fine, you do it, you're so smart!"

"I will! This is obviously one of those things when you yell and scream nothing happens, when you barely say or do anything, she wakes up abruptly."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I watch TV and read her stories."

"Ah."

Gaara poked Dragon's arm, and whispered: "Dragon?" He ducked, preparing for the explosion. Nothing happened. "What the hell?! That was supposed to work!"

"Well maybe-GAH!" Lee suddenly slipped on something and fell. "What the hell…" he picked up a red and white ball. "Gaara, come over here and look at this."

"What it is it?"

"I dunno…" Lee looked under the bed, assuming that the mysterious shiny sphere rolled from the dark abyss. "Gaara, look," he pulled out three full bags holding balls like the one he had found.

"What are they?" Gaara held up a few, examining them.

"I dunno, but some of them aren't red and white…" Lee noticed holding up a yellow and black one, and a blue and purplish one.

"PUT DOWN THE SHINIES!" Dragon barked, holding a katana to Lee's and Gaara's throat.

"DRAGON?!" Gaara yelled in fear, dropping the mysterious balls.

"WHERE'D YOU GET A KATANA?!" Lee held up his hands as if he was being held up in a heist.

"I'm not sure…" she tossed it aside, which stuck in the wall. "Sorry, didn't mean to overreact like that…"

"It's okay," the two boys began to calm down.

"Dragon-chan, what are these things?"

"Guess the cat's outta the bag…" Dragon joined them on the floor.

"WHAT?! YOUR KITTY'S IN A BAG SOMEWHERE?! COME GAARA, WE SHALL SAVE HIM!" Lee was ready to sprint, when Dragon grabbed his spandex pant leg, causing him to fall forward on his face. "Shya, Lee, not Kitty…it's an expression…"

"Ah…" his voice was muffled since he was still face flat on the floor.

"Dragon?" Gaara held up the ball, prompting her to explain.

"They're pokeballs!"

"Whose balls?" Lee and Gaara asked in unison.

"No! Watch," she took the ball in Gaara's hand. "Wait, who is this…" Dragon turned the ball over. "Oh, okay!" she tossed it on the floor in front of her. "C'mon out, Reggie!" A large yellowish-white cat with a red jewel on its forehead appeared in a beam of red light.

"Peeersian!" it said.

"What the hell?!" the boys scooted away together in fear.

"Lee, Gaara, meet Reggie the Persian! He's one of the thousands and thousands of Pokemon!"

"What is Pokemon?!" Lee was still freaking out.

"God's gift to the world, that's what!" Dragon patted the Persian's head. "It's okay, he won't hurt ya! Unless I tell him to!" Dragon continued to explain the mysterious wonders that were Pokemon until the two ninjas finally had regained sanity.

"How many do you have?" Lee looked at all the bags of multi-colored pokeballs.

"Too many. Hey, I should give you guys some!"

"What, no, Dragon-chan! I could never take anything as dear to you as your beloved pokemon!"

"I can."

"Gaara!" Lee snapped.

"No, its okay, I really don't mind. And I know the perfect one for you, Gaara!" Dragon began to rummage through her bags.

"What's with all the stickers on the bags and pokeballs?" Gaara noticed.

"Well, the ones on the bags symbolize the type of the pokemon, and the stickers on the pokeballs to me specifically who it is!"

Lee looked at the sticker on Reggie's pokeball. It was a carrot, tomato, and broccoli with an 'R' in front of it. Lee sweat dropped. _'Veggie with an R…Reggie…'_

"Shya! There you are!" Dragon pulled out a regular pokeball. "Get out here, Chip!" A giant rodent-like creature with brown shingles on its back appeared. Its eyes were black as coal.

"Sandslash!"

"Shya!" she hugged it tightly. "Chip is one of my oldest and strongest pokemon!"

"Look at those claws," Gaara held up Chips giant fingers.

"Chip's a Sandslash, a ground pokemon. He's perfect for you, Gaara!" The sand ninja held out his hands ready to take Chip. "Uhh…" Dragon looked into her Sandslash's black eyes.

"Slash…"

"I CAN'T DO IT! I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH!" she hugged him so tight that his eyes were as huge as saucers.

"SANDSANDSAND!!!" Chip struggled for air.

'_I wish she loved me that much…'_ Gaara noticed that the little creature's head was smooshed right against Dragon's chest.

"But, I have a solution!" she finally released Chip.

"Sandslash!" he gasped. Dragon once again rummaged through her Ground Pokemon bag. "Shya, okay! Here, c'mon out Reno!" A small yellow rodent that yet resembled Chip emerged from the pokeball.

"Sandshrew!" it hugged Chip.

"Chip is Reno's daddy!"

"You mean these things _mate_?" Lee raised his huge fuzzy brow.

"Of course!"

"Why does it look different than Chip?" Gaara poked Reno's fat side.

"Sandshrew!" it hid behind his father.

"Sandshrew is the pre-evolution of Sandslash!"

"Oh yes, the evolution lecture…" Lee nodded.

"Shut up Lee, you don't understand it."

"Well maybe _you_ don't," the leaf ninja snapped, a small anger mark throbbing on his forehead.

Dragon shook her head, petting Reno's soft white belly. "You two are like a married couple, I swear to god…" she whispered. Luckily, neither heard over their bickering. "Gaara!" she shoved Reno into his lap, "Train him and love him as if he was your scaly yellow hedge-hog like son!"

"Sandshrew!" it snuggled up and fell asleep.

"Is it supposed to do that?"

"Yes, when he's tired," Dragon answered blandly. "LEE'S TURN!" She pulled a bag over to her with a giant leaf sticker on it. "These pokemon are the grass type!" Dragon announced, searching for the right one to match Lee.

"Dragon-chan, really! You don't have to!"

"But I want to see how well you train and fight with your pokemon compared to Gaara!" she whined.

"BRING IT ON! I SHALL NOT DISSAPOINT YOU DRAGON-CHAN!"

Gaara sweatdropped. _'That stupid love-sick dog would do anything to show off in front of her…'_

"Shrew!" Reno nudged at his hand. "Huh?" Gaara lifted it up. The Sandshrew rubbed his head against it a few times. "Oh…" he began to pet him. _'These things are supposed to be fighting machines?'_

"Let's see…" Dragon began to ponder to herself: What was a _Rock Lee_ pokemon? It had to a grass pokemon, that was a given. What else? Lee was fast. So a fast grass pokemon. That wouldn't be too difficult to find. Lee had big fuzzy eyebrows. "…" A fast grass pokemon would be good enough. "AHA! I GOT IT!" Dragon announced.

"Oh, so _you_ get to say it, but I can't?" Lee pouted.

"Dragon's cool like that," Gaara was holding up a string and Reno was pawing at it.

"What is that thing, your pet?" he pointed.

"Maybe, I don't know." The sand ninja was being honest.

"Pokemon can battle or be used as pets, Lee! Shya, everyone knows that…" the top half of Dragon's body was engulfed in the bag. "Okay, here's your pokemon!" she held up the pokeball in front of Lee's face.

**End part 1, please Review!**

**(A/N: I'm curious, what do you think Lee's pokemon should be? I already have an idea, but if someone can submit to me a few more, I _may_ change my mind. And if anyone wants to give me some ideas for Gaara too, go ahead! You don't know what I'm planning in part 2!)**


	6. Pokeballs outta the Bag Pt 2

"C'mon on out, Blade!" Dragon said cheerily as a large green lizard-like creature appeared from the red-beam of light.

"Grovyle!" it growled. The pokemon hopped onto her shoulder.

"No, Blade! Go to Lee!" Dragon said holding him up.

"Gro!" it protested.

"He'll be a good master, I promise! Now, be a good boy!" she sat him down in front of Lee.

"Hello there little guy!" Lee smiled, holding out his arms ready for him to jump into a hug.

"Vyle. Grovyle." (Translation: You gotta be kidding me. This dork wants a hug?) Oh, and of course pokemon don't curse!

"Okay, training lesson! Out into the backyard!" Dragon pointed out the window in her room.

"That's the front-"

"I KNEW THAT!" she yelled pointing in the opposite direction.

_Backyard…_

"Okay, so I'll give you guys a practice round," Dragon held two pokeballs; one was regular, the other was a great ball. "Go Panda, Urchin!" she threw them in the air.

'_Panda? Urchin?'_ the boys sweatdropped. Gaara held Reno like a baby, while Blade sat on Lee's shoulder.

"TYPHLOSIOOOOOOOON!!!!" a large black and creamish creature (pattern of a panda) with a large ring of fire around its neck roared.

"SWAMPEEEEEEERT!!!" a giant blue monster with spikes on its cheeks and fins on its head and tail boomed.

"SHYA! My babies!" Dragon jumped hugging both of the pokemon.

Gaara and Lee sweatdropped with huge eyes. OO' "You can't really expect us to fight those things, do you?!" Lee shouted.

"No, of course not!" They sighed in relief. "Your pokemon are!"

"NONOTMYRENO!" Gaara shouted in fear clinging to his sandshrew.

"They'll be fine! I promise, Panda and Urchin will be good boys! They won't go overboard. Right?"

"Ty!" it nodded and smiled.

"Swamp!"

"Okay, you two will have to memorize your pokemon's moves. Lee, Blade knows Leaf Blade, Bullet Seed, Quick Attack, and Leer."

"…Quick Attack and Leer…" he scribbled it down on his tiny notepad.

"Gaara, Reno knows Sand-Attack, Scratch, Poison Sting, and Dig."

"Um, okay…" he said, with nothing to write on.

"Here, Gaara!" Lee handed him a piece of paper with the attacks written on it.

"I don't need your help!"

"Shya, Gaara, quit being a dick for once, would ya?" Dragon said petting her Typhlosion's fur.

Reno took the paper in his mouth and chewed on it. He eventually swallowed it. "See, even Reno agrees with me."

"Whatever, let's get started. Watch me and how I make Panda and Urchin fight. Okay guys, training time!" she clapped her hands. The two jumped away from each other, ready to fight. "Panda, use Flamethrower!"

"PHLOSIOOON!" it blasted a stream of fire.

"Urchin, counter with Hydro Pump!"

"SWAAAMP!" he fired water from its mouth. The water easily put out the water, and it was heading straight for Panda.

"Panda, dodge!"

"Typhlosion!" it jumped away.

"Now use Swift!" The pokemon opened its mouth and blazing stars zoomed towards Urchin. He let it hit.

"Why did you let it hit, Dragon-chan?" Lee asked.

"Can't dodge Swift. Just how it goes," she shrugged. "Okay guys, training's over!"

"Ty!"

"Swamp!" they hustled over to her side.

"Okay, now it's time to test your skills, you two," Dragon crossed her arms. "Who's first?"

"Uhh…" Gaara and Lee said hesitantly. Blade, being the tough, over-confident little guy he was, hopped from his new master's shoulder and ran in front of Urchin.

"Grovyle! Gro, Gro, Grovyle!" (I challenge you to a fight, you accept? Or are you too afraid?)

"PERT! Swampert, Swamp!" (What?! How dare you! I accept your fight!)

"Typhlosion…" (Since when did we start acting so civilized?)

"Looks like Blade wants to fight Urchin, Lee."

"What? How do you know?"

"You kidding, I've spent my whole life listen to these guys speak, I've _learned_ the language!"

"You just read inside the parentheses, didn't you?" Gaara asked.

"…Shut up." Urchin and Blade readied themselves for battle. "You ready, Lee? Don't worry, I'll go easy on ya."

He gulped, "O-okay…"

"1…2…3…GO!" Dragon jumped. "Urchin, use Ice Beam!"

"Swampert!" he opened its mouth, an icy blue light emitting from it as the attack was getting ready to launch.

"You may want to tell Blade an attack," Gaara suggested.

"Oh, uh…Blade, Quick Attack?" Lee tried.

"Gro!" he jumped in the air, just missing the attack and began to run on top of the ice that was created towards Urchin. He slammed against him. Urchin seemed to barely notice.

"Urchin, now, use Body Slam quick!" Dragon instructed. Before Blade could get away, the Swampert fell on top of him.

"Uh, use Bullet Seed," the leaf ninja had no idea what he was doing. Dragon had way too much of an advantage.

"Vyyyyyle!" Blade opened its mouth and released a series of bullet-sized seeds.

"SWAMPERT!" Urchin wreathed in pain, stumbling back. Direct hit.

"Alright, alright, that's enough. Not too bad, Lee. Not too bad. Gaara, you're turn." Gaara knew there was no way in getting out of this, so he slowly sat his Sandshrew down. Blade hopped back to Lee and landed the spot on his shoulder, now his roost.

"Shrew…" it whined. It pawed at his leg to hold him again.

"Panda, let's go!" Dragon waved to her Typhlosion.

"Ty!" it said with enthusiasm.

"Ready for this, Gaara? Panda is one of my strongest pokemon!" she punched inside her palm, Panda doing the same.

'_Not really…'_ he thought with worry.

"1…2…3…GO! Panda, use Swift!"

"Phlosion!" stars bolted from his mouth and smacked right into Reno.

"SHREWSHREWSHREW!" it began to cry and flail his arms.

"RENO!" Gaara was ready to run over and care for his beloved Sandshrew.

"NO! Gaara, you interfere you automatically forfeit! Suck it up for now, Reno can handle it! Pokemon are physical built for battle! Now tell him to do an attack!"

"…Fine," he grumbled, stepping back. _'Now what were those attacks? …Scratch Dig? Sting Poison?...' _"Reno use…Poison Dig." He turned around and cocked his head in confusion.

"You're either thinking of Poison Sting or Dig, Gaara," Dragon sweatdropped.

"Oh…Poison Sting, Reno."

"Shrew!" tiny little needles shot at Panda. He didn't even flinch when they hit.

"Panda, use Crunch!"

"Ty!" it started towards Reno.

"RUN AWAY, RENO! RUN AWAY!" Gaara yelled.

"SANDSANDSAND!" it fleed. Panda pounced and got the end of its little tail. "SHREEEW!" Panda stood back up, grinning in victory when it suddenly fell on its fours.

"Tyyy…" it winced.

"Oh no! Panda, did you get poisoned?" Dragon said with worry.

"Phlosion…" it groaned.

"Okay, okay, match is over," she sprinted to her poisoned Panda. She pulled out an Antidote and poured it into his mouth. He immediately healed.

"Typhlosion!" it barked happily.

"Alright, so what do you guys think?"

"Um…" they looked at each other than back at her. "Dragon-chan, I don't like to battle. It's not fun."

"Yeah, I'd rather just…" Gaara paused, choosing his words carefully, "take care of Reno." He was about to say play with.

"Well, okay, you guys can just have your pokemon as pets…PANDA, URCHIN, BACK TO TRAINING!" She suddenly said with determination and excitement.

"Ty!" (Yes, those two other guys were boring anyway!)

"Swampert, Swamp, Pert, Swamp, Swamp, Pert, Swampert!" (Yeah!)

Lee and Gaara sweatdropped along with their pokemon as they watched Dragon and hers train and battle for hours on end.

**The End**

**(A/N: I did get a comment from Oo-Shortness-oO saying it should be a Treeko, and she was close! My original idea was Grovyle, it's second evolution.)**


	7. School Rules should be Broken Pt 1

School Rules should always be Broken

**Part 1**

"GUYS WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!" Dragon yelled in her room.

"What's wrong, Dragon-chan?!" Lee hopped to her aid.

"My mom…IS SICK!!!" They were silent.

"Um…sorry to hear that?" Gaara tried.

"No, you idiot! My mom's gonna stay home tomorrow!" No response. "You guys can't stay here; my mom will find you two! You have to come to school with me tomorrow!"

"What?" they said together.

"My mom can't find out about you guys! She'll freak out and be all like 'This is against the laws of physics; cartoons can't be real, blah, blah, blah! So you're coming to school with me tomorrow."

"Are we aloud to do that?" Lee scratched his head.

"Who cares, I was getting bored being cooped up in this place everyday anyway." During the week when Dragon had school and her mom worked, the boys usually roamed the house. When Dragon would return they'd usually hang out until her mom came home. At that point, Dragon would scream random words and shove them into her closet. (Hey, it was a big closet.) Then, once she had calmed down, they just stayed in the room for the rest of the night until they woke up the next day, (They meaning Lee, really) and the circle of life would continue. Until the weekend started, and that's a different story for a different time.

"Don't worry, I'll work out everything."

"Dragon, why are you dressed like a burglar?" Gaara asked.

She was ready to step out of her window, which was on the second floor of the house. "What?" she was dressed in black, had a black beanie and grease streaked under eyes. "I wasn't about to break into the school's computer system and add you into the students data frame!"

He stared at her. "Kay, have fun."

"Byes!!!" she hopped out, adding a scream as she fell. "…I'M OKAY! I forgot I could turn into a dragon…"

"Oh, so she's a shape-shifter now?" Gaara crossed his arms.

"No, she's a dragon-demon, duh," Lee said as if this was common knowledge since the beginning of the little series.

"…Oh, right."

_Next Morning…6:00 AM_

"Shya Guys! Get up!" Dragon hissed.

"You act as if I sleep. I just lay here all night…" Gaara sat up.

"No…need sleepy…" Lee hid under his covers.

"Lee, get up right now!" Dragon pulled the covers off him.

"Hey!" he said groggily.

"You guys gotta get ready!"

"Why, we're already dressed," Gaara said.

"You're not going to school like that."

"What?"

"You guys have to dress normally."

"This _is_ normal."

"Not in the high school world. You won't get out the building alive if you wear what you're wearing now. Especially you, Lee, I don't want to begin to think what'll happen if you wear your spandex suit…"

Lee, completely awake by hearing this, sat up abruptly, "What's wrong with my spandex suit?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

"Yes!"

"Then I'm not answering." Dragon began to go through her clothes. "Let's see…here, Gaara, you'll wear this and this," she handed him a baggy Queen shirt and Goth pants.

"You have a Queen?"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that and scold you later for not knowing God's gift to the world in the form of the rock band Queen…" she turned back to her clothes. "And for Lee…here," she gave him some jeans and a shirt with skull and crossbones on it.

"I refuse to wear this, Dragon-chan!" Lee put the clothes on the bed.

"And why not?"

"I wear this for Gai-Sensai!"

"Really? And is Gai-Sensai here?"

"No…"

"And who is here?"

"Good point," he picked the clothes and examined them. "Uhh…Dragon-chan?"

She had already left to the bathroom to put on her makeup. "What is it?"

"Don't you have any thing more…green?"

"Shya, give me like five minutes!"

"You can't interrupt the DAM Process," Gaara said matter-o-factly.

"The DAM Process?"

"Dragon and Makeup Process."

"Quit callin' it that!" Dragon exclaimed. After the DAM Process had been completed, she returned to her bedroom. "Okay, you have two options."

"Two? But I thought you _loved_ green, Dragon-chan?" Lee's eyes grew big and watery with disappointment.

"I do, but not on a shirt."

"She prefers _black_," Gaara scoffed. Lee glared at him as Dragon held up the options.

"Okay, you got either a forest green shirt with a goofy-lookin' monkey on it that says Hello under it, or Mountain Dew." Mountain Dew of course was a much brighter green. Lee liked dark green better, but he was a bit hesitant to wear such a…hell there was no sugar-coating it, stupid and ugly shirt.

"I guess I'll wear Mountain Dew…"

"GOOD CHOICE!" she yanked off Lee's spandex suit in one quick motion and dressed him in one more. "LET'S GO!"

Lee's body twitched a few times and his face flushed deep crimson. "D-Dr-Dragon, I c-could've dressed myself."

"How did you do that, I mean I can't even get off when I try-I MEAN…" Gaara shifty-eyed.

"I JUST REALIZED WE'RE RUNNING LATE, GAARA I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DEEP CLOSET LOVE FOR LEE, C'MONWEGOTTAGETGOIN!" she pulled the two along with so much force they almost fell over.

"But Dragon-chan, what about breakfast?"

"IT'S NOT FAST ENOUGH AND I NEVER EAT IT ANYWAY!!!"

_Outside, waiting for the Bus…_

"Okay, so you guys are just gonna follow me wherever I go, okay?"

"Kay," they answered in unison.

"And DON'T mention anything about living with me, alright?"

"Alright."

"In fact, don't talk to anyone unless spoken to."

"Got it."

"Ya know what, just don't talk at all."

"Yes Dragon."

_Before 1st Hr, lunchroom…_

"ERYN!" a tall blonde girl waved.

"ALLY-SON!" Dragon waved back. Lee and Gaara blinked in confusion.

'_Who's Eryn?'_ they asked silently.

"Hi Michelle!"

"Hi Eryn! Who're those guys?" she pointed to the boys.

"Oh, this is Lee and…uh…Gaaaaale…" Dragon replaced Gaara's name, but then mouthed to herself in disbelief, _"Gale?" _"Um, they're new students, and I'm showing them around."

"Why'd she call me Gale?" Gaara looked at Lee. He shrugged.

"Why is everyone calling her Eryn?"

"Here's your video game, Eryn!" Allyson handed her the small DS game.

"YEE!"

"_Yee?_" they looked at each other.

"Dragon-chan, what's going on?" Lee whined and tugged her shirt. "Why are you acting so different?"

"_Dragon-chan?"_ Michelle and Allyson said.

"Uhh…hold on a sec," she said with a nervous smile. She pulled the two boys away. "Okay, I guess I forgot to mention a few little details when we were waiting for the bus. Alright…this will be hard for you guys to swallow, so I'm just gonna put out there. In the house, I am Dragon. I am a Dragon-demon with unlimited powers of DOOM! AHAHAHA! …Sorry. Anyways, that's in the house. _Outside_ the house, in the _real world_…I'm just Eryn. An average everyday human…okay, so I'm not average and everyday, but I'm human."

They blinked with large eyes. "WHAT?"

"It's hard to understand, I know. I don't even get it, but it happens. So you have to call me Eryn from now on, until we get home."

"So what you're saying is…you're not the same person as Dragon-chan?! I WILL AVENGE YOU DRAGON-CHAN!" Lee yelled much too loudly.

"SHUT UP!" Dragon/Eryn snapped. "I'm the same as Dragon, my name and race just changed that's all!"

"So…you _are_ Dragon-chan?" Lee said with watery eyes.

"Yes, just everyone calls her Eryn and she…can't turn into a dragon," Gaara said putting his hand on his forehead and shaking his head. "God that sounds so weird."

"DRAGON-CHAN, I THOUGHT I LOST YOU!" Lee jumped to a tight hug into Dragon/Eryn's arms.

"Oh God…" she sweatdropped as she felt the stares of her friends. She slowly turned her head towards them, still hugging Lee, "He's very emotional, he's just so happy that I offered to show him and Gale around…" she explained in a whisper.

_Math, 1st Hr…_

"Okay, so we have to use the Pythagorean Theorem…what's that?" Lee looked at Eryn.

She sighed, "a + bc."

"What's that mean?" Gaara questioned.

"A and B are the legs, C is the hypotenuse. You have to square these two numbers to get," she pointed to two numbers on the triangle, "to get this number," she pointed to the hypotenuse. "But then you have to find the square root to find C." They looked at like she was speaking a different language. Which was coincidently her next class.

**End Chapter**


	8. School Rules should be Broken Pt 2

**Part 2**

"Dr…I mean…Eryn-chan…" Lee still wasn't used to the odd words on his tongue, "Where are we going now?"

"Francois duex…"

"What _is_ that?!" he exclaimed.

Gaara sighed from the leaf ninja's idiocy. "What language do they speak in France?"

Lee gasped. "But I can't speak Italian, Eryn-chan!"

She sweatdropped, "That's in _Italy_, Lee. In France they speak _French_."

"Oh…I can't speak it nonetheless…" he looked down.

"Don't worry; I'm sure Gaara doesn't either."

"What? The Great Gaara can't speak every language known to mankind?!" Lee hissed.

"No, and it's the Great _Gale_, apparently…" he corrected.

"Sorry, Gaara, but I had to give you a different name. Gaara's not as common as Lee is…" Eryn apologized.

"So you came up with-"

"DON'T ASK!"

_French II_

"Eryn, say: _I would like an apple and pineapple_."

"Je voudrais un pomme et un anana," she said fluently.

"Lee, say: _I would like a lemonade and chocolate milk_."

"Um, I uh…don't know how," he sank in his chair.

"Gale, can you say it?"

"Nope."

"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure both you can. Look in Eryn's vocabulary notes." They sighed as they leaned in to look up the words in her vocab.

"Je voudrais un citron presse et chocolat lait," the two said in a droned voice.

"Close, but not exactly right. You must say chocolat _after _lait, because adjectives come after the noun," the French teacher said.

"Well that isn't pointless…" Gaara said under his breath.

_3ed Hr: Social Studies…_

"You mean we get to _learn_ about warriors fighting?!" Lee said with excitement.

"Um…not in the way you'd want to…" Eryn sweatdropped.

"What do you mean?"

_On the way to Lunch…_

"I don't think I'll ever be able to eat…How could people fight and kill each other like that? It's worse than regular ninja fighting!"

"Please, don't get me started."

"If you're not gonna eat your pizza, then I will," Gaara was about to steal the slice.

"Back off, _Gale_!" Lee snapped.

"Hey you said-"

"Well I didn't mean _you_!"

"Lord…" Eryn shook her head.

_4 and 5, Science (block class)_

"Eryn, Sprinkles, now!" Dana held out her hand.

"I wrote like a paragraph," she gave her a green composition notebook.

"Sprinkles?" Lee and Gaara asked.

"Name of the book that Dana, Missy and I are writing in."

"What are you writing?" Gaara questioned.

"Harry Potter story with no point."

"Harry-who-now?"

"…Nothing important."

_Later on…_

"NO LEE, DON'T USE THAT-" a large explosion came from the corner of the classroom. Lee coughed numerous times, smoke escaping his mouth. "…chemical…never mind…" Eryn grabbed a washcloth and wiped off Lee's face.

"What couldn't find your mommy?" a few random boys laughed at the two.

"Ignore them, Lee, they're just-"

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT ERYN-CHAN!" Lee barked.

"Oh God…"

"YOU'LL PAY FOR HURTING HER FEELINGS!"

"Gaara, please, help!" Eryn grabbed the sand ninja. "He's going to make a fool of himself!"

"He did that a long time ago."

"GAARA!"

"Come here right now and apolo-" Gaara broke a test tube over Lee's head.

"We're gonna go now…" he dragged the unconscious and bleeding leaf ninja away.

_6th Hr, Language Arts…_

"So who can tell me some of the mythical beasts Odysseus encountered?" the teacher asked. Currently the class was learning about Odysseus and his journey home. (The Odyssey)

"Sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and the Cyclops," Eryn answered.

"Very good, now who can tell me which one had a king named Polyphemus? Gale?" she looked at the sand ninja. He didn't respond. "Gale." Still nothing.

"Gaara," Eryn hissed. "You're on, princess."

"What'd you call me?" he hissed back.

"I dunno, felt like saying it. Answer the question!"

"Um…don't know."

"C'mon, sure you do."

"No, actually."

"Ooh, ooh, I know!" Lee waved his hand.

"Lee, help him out."

"Cyclops!" Gaara and Eryn turned around to give him a surprised/astonished look. "What? Gai-Sensai made us read the Odyssey. Said it built character."

_7th hour, Gym…_

"YES! A class that tests physical and mental strength! This must be heaven!"

"Welcome to hell," Eryn ignored.

"No dressing out today, sit in the bleachers."

"YEE!" Eryn bounded up to the top of the bleachers.

"You mean we're not working out today?" Lee said with watery eyes.

"YEE!" Gaara said as cheerily as he could, (which wasn't very cheery), and followed Eryn. Sulking, Lee followed. "Does this happen often?"

"Sometimes if we have assemblies."

"Are we having one today?"

"No."

"Hm."

_Later…_

"Oh my God…" Eryn sighed.

"Eryn-chan, what's wrong?"

"So hot…"

"FINALLY SHE HAS RECOGNIZED THAT I AM-"

"SHHH! YOU'LL MAKE HIM LOOK OVER HERE!" Eryn slapped a hand over Lee's loud mouth.

"Mmmk oo ook oma har?" (Make who look over here?)

"Ryan…"

"And who is Ryan?" Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow.

"My Junior Lover…"

"WHAT?!" the two boys yelled.

"SHHH!"

"How could you?!" Lee began to cry.

"Don't get your spandex in a bunch, he doesn't even know I exist…"

"Good, AND IT BETTER STAY THAT WAY!" he shook a fist at the Junior, fire burning in his eyes.

"CUT IT OUT!" Eryn yanked him down. "All I do is admire him from afar."

"But you're supposed to admire _me_ from _up close_!" Lee whined.

"Lee, you're taking this-"

"OW!" Ryan shouted, holding his head. "Who threw this rock at me?!"

Eryn angrily turned her head to Gaara, who was sitting back nonchalantly. "Wasn't me."

_Home…_

"Okay, we'll have to run to my room, so-"

"Dragon-chan- I can call you that now, right?" Lee said hopefully.

"Yes, Lee."

"THANK GOD! Dragon-chan, there's a note."

Dragon picked up the note from the table and read aloud: "Eryn, decided to go to work today after all." The ninjas anime fell as Dragon sweatdropped.

**The End, please review!**


	9. The Dot

The Dot

**(A/N: okay, so I'm an idiot. I had a really short one-shot about chan and san and I _thought_ I knew what they meant but apparently I'm just a dumbass. Please just ignore my stupidity and read on. I deleted that story anyway so its not an issue…)**

"Gaara, where's Dragon-chan?" Lee asked, sprawled on the couch.

"I dunno. I think she's in her room," Gaara answered, taking off his gourd.

"But it's 4:00, she'll miss SpongeBob."

Gaara shuddered. He despised that little yellow square cube of death. "I think she can go a day without watching it."

"But its one of her favorite shows!" Lee protested, getting up from the couch.

"You just want to watch it with her," the sand ninja scoffed. His hair stood on end with embarrassment as he made a few steps up the stairs. He continued up and reached Dragon's bedroom door.

"Dragon-cha-"

"GO AWAY!" a deep low growl emitted from behind the door. Lee blinked in fear and shock.

"But SpongeBob's-"

"DON'T FUCKIN' CARE!"

Frightened, he ran down the stairs to Gaara. "Gaara! Something's happened to Dragon-chan!!!" Lee cried.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his tone reading: _'Whatever Lee, you're just overreacting like always.' _He was holding the controller and watching Monster Trucks.

"Really! She's so upset she yelled at me!" his eyes grew big and puppy-ish.

"It's about time…" Gaara said with a low voice.

"This is serious! Come with me!" Lee grabbed him by the wrist.

"Did you just _touch_ me?" he glared. Ignoring Gaara, the leaf ninja dragged him to Dragon's room.

"Say something to her," Lee said very quietly.

Gaara rolled his eyes and lightly knocked on the door. "Dragon-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!" Dragon wailed in her room.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Lee snapped in fiery furry. The door swung open.

"I'M SORRY LEE, YOU MUST HATE ME!!!!!" she hugged onto him _very_ tightly.

"I-It's okay, Dragon-chan…" Lee gulped down. "I could never hate you!"

"C'mon, let's go watch SpongeBob!" Dragon suddenly perked up. The boys expression could only be described as… Oo? She dragged them down to the living room happily.

_20 minutes later…_

"Oh my God…WHY NOW, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!" Dragon curled up into the fetal position.

"DRAGON-CHAN, WHAT'S WRONG?!" Lee said with fear and worry.

"Craaaamps," she growled with fangs and the fiery depths of hell behind her. He backed up with giant scared eyes.

"W-w-why didn't you say so?!" Lee zoomed away and hid under Dragon's bed. Gaara stayed put.

"Why do you have cramps? You _never_ work out."

"You callin' me FAT?!" Dragon roared with rage.

"Nooo… I'm just saying you shouldn't have cramps because you're muscles haven't had strenuous activity."

She plugged in a heating pad, "Gaara, I have a feeling you don't know what goes on in a teenage girls body."

"No, and I don't think I want to."

"Well you're going to, because I am _not_ putting up with your 12-year old innocence!" she snapped.

"I don't have-"

"DON'T CARE!" Dragon put the heating pad on her lower stomach. "Listen, and listen good. Do you know what happens when a mommy and a daddy do when they love each other?"

He stared blandly. "Yes." Kankuro and Temari had explained this to him years ago.

"Okay, then do you know what happens to the mommy a long time before she and the daddy hop on the good foot and do the dirty dance?"

Oo… "Nooo…"

"God's cruel punishment to all women just for _being_ women…" Gaara continued to stare at her with a lost look. "Period, Gaara. AKA the Dot."

"Period?" he repeated.

"Yes, but I like to code name it so I can talk about it freely among friends in public."

"Why would you want to?"

"So we can all _complain_ about it together!" Dragon said darkly, tapping her fingers on the heating pad.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Big mistake.

She grabbed Gaara by the collar and pulled him close. "Princess, when you get cramps from a period, it feels like a knife is being dragged across your insides while being shot in the lower back. It aint a walk in the fuckin park."

"You're over exaggerating." Dragon's eye twitched in pure hatred and anger.

_30 seconds later…_

Cautiously, Lee quietly and stealthily walked down the stairs. "Gaara? Dragon-chan?" he whispered. "I heard someone scream and-"

"Lee…" he heard someone said in a begging tone. "Help…"

Lee followed the voice. It was coming from the deck in the backyard. "Gaara?!" He was swinging upside down, tied up, from a tree. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I just thought she was being too emotional…" he cringed.

"You _WHAT_?!" Lee's eyes went wide.

"Don't you know anything?! Girls become 20-no, 30 times more emotional when they're on their period!"

"Apparently not…"

"I must say, I'm surprised. All she did was tie you up."

"No…she stabbed me across the stomach and shot me in the back…" There was also a giant pink girly sign with purple letting above Gaara's swing body that read: _'A spoiled brat Princess shouldn't speak of what she doesn't know.'_

The End

(A/N: and yes, I now like to call Gaara 'Princess'. I don't know why. Probably because if anyone were to really call him that, they'd be dead in like...2 seconds. And I get away with it.)


End file.
